The next day MOMO got up early; Ziggy was still in his room when she came to the door. "Ziggy, are you awake yet? Jr. said you could go shopping with us!"

"I'll be right there." It seemed he had no choice. He didn't really mind going with them, except that he had work to do around the Durandal, and MOMO could use some time apart from him; she had followed him everywhere since she arrived, and while he didn't mind her company, he didn't think it was good for her to get too attached to him either. On the other hand, his concern for MOMO and Juli and for his own situation had begun to preoccupy his thoughts. A trip around the Foundation colony might clear his mind, or at least distract him for a while.

MOMO had already left by the time he stepped out of his own room a few minutes later. He tracked her through the ship and found her waiting with Jr. in the launch area outside.

"About time you got here," said Jr., turning out his wrist in a pantomime of checking a watch. "Hey, you're not mad that I invited you, are you?"

"No, it's fine."

"I figured you might want to take a break. You look so gloomy every time I see you lately, it even makes me depressed." He rubbed the back of his head thoughtfully. "Although, on second thought, I guess you kind of always look like that."

MOMO stationed herself by his right arm. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

They set out in the direction of the twenty-sixth and twenty-seventh sectors and spent the morning wandering from one shop to the next, MOMO and Jr. taking turns deciding where to stop.

"Seriously, though," said Jr. as they waited in a clothing store later that day, "you do seem kind of out of it. You sure you're okay?"

"I'm just worried about MOMO." Ziggy tried to speak quietly so she wouldn't overhear. He and Jr. stood waiting for her near the dressing rooms in the back of the shop. He had always felt awkward in places like this; it was less of an issue in the Foundation, with its unusually high concentration of Life Recycling survivors like himself, but even here he stood out, literally and figuratively.

Jr. glanced back at the dressing room doors and moved a step closer to Ziggy. "Yeah, I know. I'm kind of worried about her too. Did you ever find out what happened with her and Dr. Mizrahi?"

"Not really. I don't think she wants to talk about it. She did say that Juli ... ah, Dr. Mizrahi seemed upset with her, but I got the impression it wasn't because of anything MOMO did."

"Damn, I thought they were getting along just fine. What did Dr. Mizrahi say when you talked to her?"

"The last time?" He hesitated, caught sight of himself in a standing mirror nearby, and briefly wondered if he really looked as unhappy as Jr. said he did. Ziggy didn't notice any difference, but then, he rarely took note of his own appearance at all. "I don't really know. She seemed a little stressed, but other than that ...."

"You two haven't been talking much lately, have you?"

Startled, he glanced back at Jr.. "How did you know that?"

"Well, you know." Jr. scratched the back of his head again, looking suddenly abashed. "Let's just say I still have a few ... not very admirable habits. But it's my ship, right? I gotta be able to monitor communications to know what's going on, right?"

"What exactly are you implying?"

"Look, I didn't mean to spy on your calls, I just wanted to, y'know, see how things were getting on with you and Dr. Mizrahi, all right?" He held up his hands in mock surrender. "I have to admit, it was kind of disappointing. The way things were going for a while there, I thought you two would be exchanging sappy love poems by now, or making up disgusting nicknames for each other or something. But I guess that's what normal people do. And, uh, no offense, but you guys aren't exactly what I would call normal."

A muscle tensed in Ziggy's jaw. "Thanks," he managed.

"Uh, sure." Jr. relaxed a little. "But is that really all that's been bothering you lately? Just MOMO and Juli?"

"It's nothing you need to be concerned with." From the corner of his eye he stole another quick glance at the mirror and noted with relief that the heat he felt rising to his face didn't show.

"All right," said Jr., in a tone that suggested he remained unconvinced. He shoved his hands in his pockets and strolled off, his red head sinking out of sight behind a rack of discounted swimwear. After a few minutes, he let out a hoot of laughter. "Oh man, you've gotta see this."

Ziggy walked around to the other side of the rack. Jr. stood facing away from him, and when Ziggy approached, Jr. turned with a flourish and thrust something garishly bright into his face.

"Check it out! I bet Juli would totally go for it if you wore something like this."

He blinked, trying to make sense of the article of clothing in front of him as it came into focus. It looked like ... well, he wasn't sure what it was, but there wasn't much of it, and staring at it made his eyes ache.

Jr. grinned. "What do you think, huh? Is this the height of fashion or what? Man, you put this on and Juli will be jealous, 'cause every girl in the Foundation will be after you."

"That's not funny." He turned and walked back toward the dressing rooms, blinking to get rid of the afterimage.

MOMO peered out from behind the door to one of the rooms. "Ziggy? Jr.? I think I found an outfit I like!"

"Let's see it," said Jr..

She stepped out shyly and posed in front of the mirror, still straightening the white blouse and the sharp folds of the skirt. "How does it look?"

"Nice." Jr. gave her the thumbs-up. "C'mon, I'll buy it for you."

Ziggy nodded his approval and went to wait outside. As he walked away, Jr. turned to MOMO and began talking to her in a voice loud enough for Ziggy to overhear.

"... so I think I'm gonna buy it anyway and hide it somewhere, in case the old man changes his mind ...."

"Oh, Jr., that's so horrible."

Their voices faded into the noise of traffic as he stood outside the doorway. He should have expected Jr. to eavesdrop on his conversations, but was the rest of it--the way he felt about Juli, and the way she seemed to feel about him--really as obvious as Jr. made it sound? Even Ziggy hadn't been aware of it at first, and by the time he recognized it, he was in too deep to back out gracefully. But maybe what he had done wasn't any better than staying involved. He had broken away too suddenly, and now she was upset and confused.

The more he thought about it now, the more he realized how careless he had been. He had thought he was acting logically, but maybe he was just trying to rationalize it to himself. Worse than that, he had left her alone when she needed his help with MOMO. She must be under a tremendous amount of stress already, with her regular job and the investigation to manage, and expecting her to resume the responsibilities of parenthood on her own, with no preparation, had been worse than unrealistic; on his part, it amounted to unwitting cruelty.

He felt as though the ground had dropped away beneath him. Somehow he was responsible for all of this--Juli's frustration and MOMO's unhappiness as well as his own--and he hadn't even been aware of his part in it. How could he have failed to notice? This wasn't like planning a strategy for a mission; the lack of a clear solution, a straightforward path to an objective, left him feeling helpless. He had no idea what patterns to look for, what course of action to take to avoid disaster. Maybe he had never belonged with the rest of humanity anyway, even when he was still one of them. He didn't understand other people, and he certainly didn't understand himself, at least not that dark, irrational, fractured part of himself which remained from his former life. The work he had done for the last hundred years was where he excelled, and maybe he would have been better off as a machine after all. That way, even if he hurt someone, he wouldn't be able to feel any pain himself.

"Hey, old man!"

Startled, he turned as MOMO and Jr. came out of the store. He had been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn't sensed their approach. MOMO walked out wearing her new dress, and Jr. carried a small bag which he hastily stuffed inside his coat when he saw Ziggy eyeing it with suspicion.

On the street a crowd had gathered around the window of a shop displaying several holographic screens of varying sizes. Ziggy could see over the heads of the crowd to determine that all the screens showed the same image, and as he got closer--people tended to move out of his way instinctively--he saw what it was. This time there was no sinking feeling; he had already lost touch with the ground, and the numb sensation of floating in a vacuum swallowed any emotional response he might have had. He stood and watched and let his arms hang heavy at his sides. When Jr. and MOMO finally worked their way through the crowd to meet him, he hardly noticed their presence.

"Ziggy, what is it? What's going on?" MOMO gripped his arm, but he didn't feel it. Behind him, Jr. swore. On half a dozen screens at once, the Gnosis tore through Fifth Jerusalem's capital like children demolishing an imaginary city in a sandbox. The cameras cut to a tower that soared above the rest of the skyline, shuddering under the impact of repeated blows, and MOMO gasped. "That's where Mommy works!"

This time, he couldn't even close his eyes. The images came, and he processed them automatically and felt nothing.